Reality check

Today has been one of those days... One of those days where everything seems to go against you. I should have realised that after it was raining this morning and I couldn't go running, or after I spilled tea over myself, or even after I forgot I'd run out of milk for my breakfast... Small things, adding up to a generally unlucky day. 

But I did try to see my friends in Paris to cheer myself up, only to forget my umbrella, become very wet and then get off at the wrong metro stop, and get briefly lost. After my train home was cancelled and I had to wait another 40 minutes, I was pretty much ready to crawl into a dark corner. 

So I treated myself to a Starbucks to cheer myself up (white mochas do that for me), and the very nice man serving me also helped a great deal... It wasn't until afterwards I realised he'd put a little smiley face on the side of my cup (and managed to spell my name right, unlike any French person, ever). It was enough to put a smile on my face and improve my day. Little things make a huge difference, and I almost wish I could have gone back to thank him.

But then I ruined things for myself... I'm a little bit of a romantic. It comes from watching far too many Disney films when I was younger, and reading about too many Heathcliffs and Mr Darceys. So a little thought crept in and I thought that maybe, just maybe, there might be a number on the bottom. Of course, upon looking, I was sorely disappointed. I scolded myself immediately, annoyed that I always seem to allow my romanticised view of people and life to replace reality. 

But then I stopped- why was it so unbelievable that somebody might actually do something sweet like that? Since it's been pointed out to me (several times, by several different friends) that I have an overly romanticised outlook on life, I have tried to be more realistic. But why can't reality include little special 'movie' moments? Why can't people just think of sweet little gestures? I'm not talking about this particular time- he might not have even wanted to give me his number. But the point is- why should I lower my expectations? If I'm capable of being a bit of a hopeless romantic, surely someone else out there also thinks the same way?

It's true that I dream of meeting someone in a library, seeing them through the shelves like in that advert, or bumping into someone who helps me pick up my books. Or, yeah, even finding someone's number on the bottom of a Starbucks cup. I'm aware that the chances of these things happening, are slim- unless I become an actress and then all my dreams will (sort of) come true. I do need a reality check, because otherwise I know that everything will seem like a disappointment.

However, I don't think it's wrong that I hold out hope for a time when my daydreams might actually become real; I think it's holding onto hope that the future is all rosy-coloured, and it gives me faith in other people and a positive outlook on life. Sure, sometimes I'm disappointed. But regardless of whether these hopes come true, I'm constantly ready for something to come around the corner, and to be pleasantly surprised when my expectations come true.

Resolutions for the New Year

Since it is now the 11^th January, I think it’s time for some New Year’s resolutions, something I haven’t done for a few years now. I hate this part of the new year- where people expect you to be all hopeful and miraculously change yourself. But I do have a few important things I feel merit the name “resolutions” and I figured writing them down and having any Tom, Dick or Harry be able to read them on the internet would encourage me to keep them. Here it goes:

1. Lose some weight and be healthier.

Probably the resolution of millions, but I guarantee I’m more determined than the majority of them. Plus, like everyone I properly binged over Christmas and have put on weight since coming to France- damn those patisseries. So now I’m not overly confident with the way I look, so I’m going to change it.

2. Stop feeling guilty for doing things I want to do.

Credit goes to my friend for this one because she realised this is a rather significant issue I have. For example, I wanted to go horse riding, but felt guilty about spending the money. Now that I know I do this, I’ve realised there is absolutely no cause for it either.

3. Dance like no one is watching.

My Auntie bought me a bangle with this saying printed on the edges and it suddenly struck how poignant this is for me. Sometimes I really do just need to stop caring about what others think and go for it.

I think the traditional 10 resolutions are a bit ambitious for me, so I’m sticking with three. Wish me luck!

Happy New Year!

My friend and I decided to spend New Year’s Eve in Paris this year, since I had the accommodation and the opportunity, rather conveniently, presented itself. Little did we know that London does the New Year ten times better. Yep, that’s right- I was sorely disappointed with Paris, sorry Frenchies. But there were also some amazing highlights... (Read more on my Parisian Life page)

Christmas time

Despite several illnesses going round my family this holiday season, even including the cat, I had such a wonderful Christmas! With mum having more spare time, I definitely noticed the preparation she put into the house with the decorations, and even with the food, and presents this year. It felt all magical and Christmassy being able to curl up next to the fire in my new onesie and watch the Christmas episode of Downton Abbey, with the Christmas tree lights twinkling in the background.

Christmas Day ride

Mum bought me a beautiful new necklace to replace my old locket-and-horse piece which I lost in France whilst out running. It served as my lucky charm, and for those of you who have ever lost something really quite dear to you, you’ll know how lost you feel without it. Plus, I’m a tiny bit superstitious and ended up believing that every single thing that might go wrong, would go wrong without this necklace. So it’s a good job I got a new one I suppose!

Each year we seem to have something important to remember Christmas by: last year, the power went out and we didn’t think we’d have a Christmas dinner; the year before we got our cat. This year, it was certainly illnesses: mum got a tooth abscess; the cat got cat flu; and I had stomach cramps for the days leading up to it. But nevertheless, we managed a painless Christmas day in the end and, as normal, I ate far too much.

I hope that those reading this also had a wonderful Christmas time. It won’t be long until we’re doing it all over again!